I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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