So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
