Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
