Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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