I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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