you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
