Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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