just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
