So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
