evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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