It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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