That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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