I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize