brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
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No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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