no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
