The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
