Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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