She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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