Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i've created a new STD.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
