He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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