Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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