dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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