is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
