1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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