So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
