I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
