Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize