Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
