I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
