I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
