So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i came on her dog
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
