youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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