I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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