we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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