I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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