discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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