Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
