I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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