DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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