shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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