i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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