Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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