The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
