Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we're making bets on your personal life
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
