if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
