I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
