Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
