i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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