Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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