Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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