That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
