I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Someone signed my nipple.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
