Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
