watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
