don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
