Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
