Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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