You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize