what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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