Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
