hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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